Finding Your Voice: Understanding What You Want and Need

1/21/20251 min read

3 women sitting on gray couch
3 women sitting on gray couch

Breaking Free from Childhood Constraints

Growing up in a home where your voice felt stifled can leave a mark that lasts well into adulthood. You might have been raised in an environment where expressing your thoughts, feelings, or opinions seemed impossible. Perhaps your parents were like dictators—only their words mattered, and your desires went unheard. The societal norms like 'children should be seen and not heard' can further compound this issue, discouraging you from vocalising your wants.

Recognising Your Needs as an Adult

Now that you're an adult, you may find yourself grappling with a strange paradox—your parents are no longer around to stifle you, yet you still struggle to articulate your wants and needs. It’s as if the whispers of doubt from your childhood still echo in your mind, making you hesitant to name what you truly desire. But take heart! Understanding those childhood constraints is the first step towards gaining clarity about your current needs.

Steps to Discover What You Want

So how do you navigate this complex landscape? Here are a few practical steps that can help you uncover what it is that you really want and need:

  • Self-Reflection: Spend some time alone thinking about what makes you happy or what you need to improve in your life. Journaling can be a powerful tool here.

  • Set Boundaries: As an adult, you now have the right to set emotional boundaries. Protect your feelings and inform others what is acceptable behavior towards you.

  • Practice Assertiveness: Start practicing saying 'no' or expressing your preferences in low-stakes situations. This can build your confidence over time.

  • Seek Support: Sometimes, talking to a counselor or joining supportive groups can provide a safe space for self-exploration and validation.

Remember, you are allowed to want things. You deserve joy and fulfillment, irrespective of what you were led to believe as a child. This journey might be slow and challenging, but uncovering your needs is an essential part of personal growth. By taking small, deliberate steps, you can redefine your narrative from one of suppressed desires to a life filled with authenticity and empowerment.